I wasn’t going to do a year in review but the thought has been poking since the past few weeks.
Re-reading my most recent year recap from 2020 and it seems so bleak and somehow the past few days of this year have felt that way. Or feels ominous for me but now, compared to 2020, I am aware of what to do and how to do it. So I’m not worried. I also read my 2015 year recap from my medical school days. It filled me with hope for the future.
Moving on to a recap of this year...
I start writing this by 8.33pm on Sunday 31st December, 2023. I am sorted at the train station having just missed my train; the next one is in 1 hour and so thought to put the waiting time to good use.
I didn’t nurse the idea of an end of the year review until a few weeks ago and now, it’s a constant itch that I need to scratch. Unfortunately, this itch has a self-imposed deadline which is 23.59 on this lovely day. I have a fear that if I don’t achieve this, I’d feel like I failed at something. As with most fears, this is unfounded. But I’ll rather scratch this itch than leave it be.
As always, I wonder again why we as humans are obsessed with time-bound activities, or better put – human designed boundaries. Does it make a difference if I hit publish before the clock hits 00:00? Who makes the difference between 2023 and 2024? What exactly changes? I’ve concluded that we make these boundaries to make sense of this world we live in, otherwise we may go berserk. As the superior inhabitants of this earth, we need certain things to make us feel we are in control. But are we really?
This is supposed to be an end of the year review. And it is. I’ve causally thought about what exactly I would write or how I would start this review and this seems like the perfect intro. Because it’s reflective of how this year has been. I’ve tried to make more sense of the world by observing more. Actually, this is how most of my life has been but the last quarter of 2023 took it a notch higher.
To properly summarise the year, I’d have to talk about the year in its entirety, beyond my observations. Since I’m pressed for time, I’ll compress this into 2 parts – work and life. It feels ironic though, because work is a big part of our life which makes compartmentalising work and life feel weird. But let’s allow this categorisation so this post doesn’t delve into a different realm.
Work wise, I was stressed.
There’s no ‘calmer’ way to put this. I felt stressed and overwhelmed for the most part of the year. I believe this stress is of my own doing, what we can call self-imposed stress. I genuinely enjoyed most aspects of my work, and I think this year has given me a bit more clarity onto what I’ll spend the next few years working on. Regardless, I’m being measured in my forecasting as I know firsthand how much of life’s events can be outside of our control. Still, I make plans because I have an idea of the final destination even though the journey to get there and the vehicle to travel in may change along the way. I took on a lot more than I ideally should this year. I know this, but I guess I am one to push myself to see how far I can go. I’m glad that I have friends who look out for me to ensure I don’t over stretch myself. And this brings me to life.
Still, my life blossomed...
…in several ways, both very largely in my friendships and sense of self. This year, I was privileged to cultivate new friendships and nurture older ones. This year, adulthood came in full force and I once again was grateful for the gift of people that I have been blessed with – family, friends, colleagues. People were one of the best gifts I got this year. People were also the cause of pain this year but I remain thankful that the joy cancels out the pain a million times over. I learnt to live with myself, by myself. I learnt to be alone but not lonely. This year has been a journey of self-discovery. I’m both humbled and amazed by the things I’ve learned about myself as I learn about the world around me.
For 2024, a singular goal I have is to refocus on me and prioritize rest. I worked hard and played hard in 2023, but I genuinely don’t think I rested well enough. It’s telling and I need to fix that. Beyond physical rest, I also would rest and lean on God much more. In every aspect. He has shown me time and again that his plans for me are for good, to bring me to an expected end. I’m leaning heavily on this in 2024 and other years to come.
It’s now about 21:19 on 31December2023. I’ll hit publish very shortly and I would pat myself on the back because the itch is gone, and I can happily head towards the platform to catch my train to the next city. Seems symbolic, innit? 😉
Happy new year 🎊
This song had been on repeat today and would carry me into the new year – Counting My BlessingsSong by Seph Schlueter
Love,
Sisikunmi
