2019 is almost over! Am I excited? Am I glad? Tbh, I really can’t say, majorly because, in recent years, I have stopped being so freaked about the new year, new months and all that. This time of the year, things become slow and a lot of people start shifting tasks to ‘next year’ when really the whole concept of the calendar is just for us to keep track of time – not to be ruled by it.
Even at that, I am way more ecstatic about the future than I was a month ago. I had initially planned to feature people sharing their 2019 story but life happened and I cancelled the whole thing. I even decided that I won’t put up an ‘end of the year post’, but things changed and I am glad they did. So what exactly changed to make me reconsider making this post? Here’s the gist of the matter.
P.S: You can read my mid-year review here.
I have had a rough couple of months this year and for the most part, I just had to drag myself and psyche myself up to do things. As of November, I was still in this brooding mood which was mostly on and off. I really couldn’t figure out how to get out of it even after moving back to Lagos after intern year in Ondo state. On one sunny afternoon, I received a newsletter in my inbox from Kemi Onabanjo where she talked about finishing strong. She shared about how she initially used to beat herself up for not meeting all of the goals she had outlined for the year in January. However, some 3 years back, she decided to switch things up by being thankful instead and she has since enjoyed a more peaceful end-of-the-year review.
Around the same time, the theme of the sermons in the church was centred around gratitude. I decided that since I had tried every other thing and I couldn’t shake off the moodiness, I could as well try this new trick and so I got to work. Every time my mind drifted to all the things that were not going well for me, I immediately said a ‘thank you’ prayer. It didn’t always work at the beginning though, and I’d still be sulky and all but I kept at it. Eventually, something gave and I realised that I was filled with more joy than before.
It’s exciting because I can’t put a finger to the exact time things change but I know that I am now in a better headspace than I was a few weeks back. And that inspired my 2019 end-of-the-year review post theme: Thankfulness. I will be sharing different things that I am grateful for this year.
THANKFUL FOR FRIENDS
‘Friendship is the greatest romance.’ I saw this phrase on Twitter recently and it stuck. The phrase was coined based on a man’s story about how he became friends with an older woman and the friendship was a really pleasant one (no sexual relations involved, you can read it here). It got me thinking about the past year and I realised I have been greatly blessed with good friends. With all the ‘gbas gbos’ that came with the year, having a tribe of friends who were there in some way made it all bearable. I am particularly thankful for them because I know I can be a difficult friend sometimes when it comes to sharing stuff but somehow this year I found myself opening up more to receive their love. I also want to believe that I was able to be there for them when they needed someone. Looking back, I am not certain how I survived before them and I am so so grateful to have them in my life. ❤️
THANKFUL FOR CLARITY
One of my goals at the beginning of the year was to have more clarity about certain things in my life, particularly my career path, by the end of 2019. I didn’t want to rush into things just because everyone else was doing them, and I also didn’t want to take an alternate path without being certain. So while I’m still not at 100% certainty, I am further ahead in my journey than I was a year ago. This gives me hope when I become overwhelmed because I know that someway, somehow, with hard work and perseverance, everything will be sorted out.
THANKFUL FOR ILLUMINAIRE
Lol. These guys. I talk about them a lot and I hope they know it’s not just hype. Being a part of this group really helped shape my thinking this year. I mean, I’m a smart person on a normal day (no pride, just facts😂) and it tends to make me feel like a badass. But you see these guys, they can floor you in their discussions and the smartness in you will make you realise that keeping quiet is the best thing so as not to expose some subtle foolishness. They made me realise that as special as you think you are, there are other people out there equally as special. So there really is no need to be proud and feel like you’re better than everyone else. They also made me realise that you don’t necessarily have to agree on everything just because you’re friends. You can have strong opposing opinions on stuff and not let that affect your friendship. Lastly, they taught me to laugh more and be less serious about things. I’m still learning in that regard though because I generally tend towards being a ‘serious’ person. But I’m loosening up sha.
THANKFUL FOR HOPE
Someone tweeted something along the lines of ‘Hope is a terrible thing to lose’ and it resonated with me so well. I believe that hope is really the fuel that keeps us going in life. When hope is lost in a relationship, a project, in someone everything begins to look bleak and you find yourself falling away. If we had no hope that our lives will be better than it is now, we really will not stay grinding. Looking back at the year, the times that have sucked the most are the periods when I lost all hope – and I’m a very optimistic person, so to lose hope for me is like reaching the end of the straw. Thankfully, I got my hope back.
As we continue on this journey of life, I will like to implore us to do all we can not to lose hope. Times will come when that is inevitable but if we have a strong support system, we’ll definitely find our way back up. This goes further to show the importance of people in our lives – no matter how high you climb or how far you go in life, as Pelz says, people will always always be your greatest asset. Be a good person too.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie Share on XMerry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance!
Stay thankful,
Sisikunmi.
