Sonder – The profound awareness that everyone has a story, as complex as yours.2 mins read

One sunny Sunday afternoon, while I was on call duty at the accidents and emergencies department at my workplace, an officer came in and mentioned that he had brought a patient (Mrs A) who was involved in an accident. I thought it was probably a fracture or something of that nature. I was with other patients, so I couldn’t go and attend to them.

The casualty officer on duty was available so he went to see. Upon reviewing, he certified Mrs A dead.

I was shocked to hear that because I hadn’t really expected it. The backstory (history) of Mrs A even made me more shocked – she had been driving home from church when she suddenly swerved from the road and hit a pole. She had just a bruise on her leg and no visible bleeding.

Those around her quickly rushed her to the hospital, but she was dead on arrival. An autopsy wasn’t carried out to identify the exact cause of death; chances are she had a cardiac arrest prior to sustaining the accident, which was probably what made her lose control.

What’s the point of this narration?

That same day, shortly before this woman came, my mom had come to visit me at the hospital on her way from church – she brought me some food as I don’t like eating the hospital food while on call. ❤️

As I heard the story behind this Mrs A’s death, I began to think about how that could have been her. I wondered what I’ll do if that had happened, and I just couldn’t bear to – because the thought alone weakened me. Still does.

I wondered how Mrs A’s husband, children, friends and other loved ones would be feeling, hit by this sudden loss.

This is not the first time thoughts like this have crossed my mind – it occurs almost every single day, both in the hospital and out. Seeing people going about their daily activities, being on admission in the hospital, the thought crosses my mind that they are more than just mere statistics. They are very real people with very real lives and dreams, just like me.

This realization, this awareness that those around me are as human as I am helps me interact with people better, to treat people with more respect and kindness. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I realise that the world is bigger than just me. Other times, it strengthens me – knowing that there are other people in the world with cares and worries and joys, just like me.

I don’t always think this way, because I feel constantly thinking this way will be paralysing. But when I do, it helps strengthen me – knowing that I’m not alone helps make me more confident.

As you read this, remember that you’re not alone – everyone has a story, a maze of life that they’re trying to figure out. It’s a journey we are all making.