Identity: What does it really mean? -

I have been thinking about what to post on here for a while. Today, I found this 20-months old draft on ‘identity’. It seemed like an interesting topic and after reading it I wondered why I was yet to share it. I decided to share it as is with minor grammar edits here and there. (I think I wrote it in a moment of reflection without edits and stuff). Hopefully, it speaks to you as it did to me.

The concept of identity has always been one that I struggled to understand but recently made sense of. To me, it is an idea or set of adjectives that define me, who I am. I have always wanted to have a deeper sense of being, getting to know the true me beyond the definition given to me by my university degree—medical doctor, or some other identity thrust on me.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines identity as ‘the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.’ This implies that identity is something unique to an individual.

The second definition of identity in the same Merriam-Webster dictionary goes like this – ‘the condition of being the same with something described or asserted.’ This implies that we can share certain identities with others.

These two definitions appear to be contrasting and they are, however they are both the reality.

As we go through life, from our birth until we take our last breath on earth, we are constantly identified in a way is beyond our control. The family we are born into, our country of origin or birth, the groups we join, the career we pursue and so many other identities which we can do little to nothing about. Although unsolicited and sometimes unwanted, these identities shape our experiences in life. They also influence us in deeper ways than can be measured.

People view these ‘imposed’ identities differently, ranging from those who wholeheartedly accept them to those who do all they can to be as distant as possible from such identities. The reasons for these different reactions also vary from benefits that come with them, to certain stereotypes which might not be pleasant.

We often realize that try as we may, we cannot shake off some unsolicited identities. What we can do is to still carve out a unique identity for ourselves, amid shared identities. One is within our power to control.

Such an identity has so much more to do with the inner self than the outward situation. It is so much more than body size, hair colour or job title. Your weight could change, hair dyed or become grey, and your job title can also change without your permission. If those things change, does that imply that your identity, who you really are, changes as well?

While those definitions are not wrong, an identity crisis can arise when the conditions change. Therefore, it is important to have a unique personal identity, beyond the one shared with others.

Creating such an identity is a personal exercise, and we shouldn’t allow our environment or experiences to limit our personal identities. Instead, we are to take those experiences and circumstances and use them to our advantage. Carving out the ‘us’ we want to be identified as, that person who isn’t swayed by a change in body image or a change in the job title.

There is beauty in taking charge of your identity. If you stand by that definition, living by it and setting your ideals around it, it becomes the identity that even others associate you with.

I understand that I am much more than just another medical doctor. Much more than just another person on the face of this earth. I am a combination of a lot of little things, unique in my own self.

Finding your identity is quite powerful and increases self-confidence. I guess the next question now is – how do I find my identity? I will probably do some more research on this, as this is also a learning process for me. As always, I will be delighted to share what I learn.

Be unique,

Sisikunmi.