To doctor or not to doctor?3 mins read

During my time in Obstetrics and gynecology posting, I performed my first ceaserean section with assistance from a medical officer.

I posted pictures of my time in surgery on social media and, as expected, I got so many positive remarks and all of that. I was elated to say the least. At the time of the surgery I was a bit scared and excited but it felt like just another thing. As I looked back at the pictures, remembering the moments in theater, my heart swelled with pride and I was truly HAPPY.

As the day ended, with more likes trickling in, I felt a soft pull in my heart and I began to think, wouldn’t you miss all of this?

For some time, I’ve been considering pursuing a non-clinical medical pathway which will mean that I will spend little or no time doing ‘doctor’ things like attending to patients and performing surgeries. It’s an idea that I’ve toyed with a lot and with each passing day, I get pulled more towards it.

This desire is not born out of a hate for medicine or the practice of it. I know a number of people talk about the burnout in clinical practice, and that’s real. Some others talk about how people go into medical practice because of their parents or society and then hate it but because of the invested years, can’t switch to something else. That’s true too. In spite of all of this, I still believe that there are a lot of practicing medical doctors who love love their jobs.

I totally love medicine. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, whether that was burned into my mind by older people or influenced by society, I don’t know. While filling my JAMB form, I had the common problem that plagued Nigerian science students: Medicine or Engineering. When I couldn’t decide on my own I pushed it to God – I filled in Medicine and prayed, ‘God, if Medicine is not your choice for me let me not get in.’ The idea was, if I failed to get into Medicine on my first try, I’d fill in engineering the next year. Lol.

Anyway, I passed the exams and made it into Unilag to study Medicine and Surgery on my first attempt without any ‘connects’ and it felt like God had called me to this. So imagine my dilemma when I wonder if I really want to be a doctoring doctor? After God has given me the opportunity to study this course for next to nothing.

On my about page, I mentioned how non-clinical aspects of medicine is important to drive the clinical aspect. It just feels like uncharted waters. The path to clinical medicine is clear and secure, albeit difficult in its own way. Any other path isn’t as clear. So deciding to not follow that path is not an easy choice.

As I’ve learnt over the past couple of months, there’s no path without a struggle. To excel in clinical medicine, as straight as the path is, is not a walk in the park. This true about almost any other field. I think plying an unconventional path is a bit more uncertain, especially in a country like Nigeria where there are little or no other options.

There’s little room for being more creative or deviating from the norm here. I believe that’s also a reason why those who study courses that aren’t deemed professional (law, accounting, engineering, medicine…) have a harder time working in line with what was studied in their undergraduate years.

This means that if I really intend to do this, I have to be more aggressive in my research and other steps I take in this regard.

I’m still not 100% certain of what path to follow, due to various other reasons not stated here. I know that whatever path I choose will mean foregoing something that I could have gotten in the forgone pathway. It gets a bit overwhelming and scary sometimes but I try not to let it hold me down. I also know that growth is not static, and as I go ahead in life, I’d keep evolving, same with my interests.

This is just something that has been on my mind for sometime and I just thought to share it. Someone out there might have a similar experience which they have overcome or are still experiencing, not necessarily in the medical line. If that’s you, I’d like to hear from you in the comment section below, or via my contact page. Thanks!

Love,

Sisikunmi.